On The Road Again

My first real bike was a grey and purple 10 speed 2 wheeler made by an egotistical elf named Huffy; when it arrived on Christmas morning he had plastered his name on it in several places as if to make sure I could never forget that I owed him for my new mode of transportation. It served me well and took a beating like a champ in the days before helmets and GPS before meeting its dramatic and untimely end in the middle of I-195 S. (Anybody have info on the statute of limitations on personal injury law in MA?)

After the destruction of Huffy's handiwork I acquired a Giant Iguana... or maybe a Yukon? This was before every moment was documented in a selfie so to find out I'd have to sift through several albums of painful photographs and I'd rather stick to conjecture. But I'm pretty sure it was an Iguana. It arrived around the same time as my driver's license and, working in tandem, the two saved my life more than a few times. Using the money I made working at CVS I purchased a mirror, a bike computer, a luggage rack, a saddle bag and a second water bottle holder for the Iguana and spirited it away with me to college where I used it for my late night trips to and from work at Dunkin' Donuts. Early in the winter of my freshman year someone stole it from the common room (where it had been chained up) and the following week I got bronchitis walking home in the dark cold rain at 1 o'clock in the morning. I mourned that bike like it was a person and it's been 19 years since I dared to love a two wheeler again. 

But it's been a week of bikes around here. Last Tuesday I dropped our little human off at camp at our Alma Mater and decided to explore the Lime Bikes that dotted the streets around campus. Designed more for cruising along a boardwalk, I suspect, than county bike trails, they rolled forward in appropriate ways but were a true pain in the ass to ride. I gave them a second try on Wednesday and then decided that I needed a bike of my own (not that we have ANYWHERE to keep it. But I'm working on that.)

The rest of the week was spent researching bikes and visiting bike shops and pouncing on every Facebook and Craigslist ad I came across until deciding that what I needed more than anything in the world was a brand new Trek Neko 3-- a hybrid bike that leans towards mountains and would set me back about 7 times what I planned on spending. It had bells AND whistles and Dual Sport Versatility and DuoTrap S Compatibility and... 

...and that's when a  black and blue 1997 Giant Boulder appeared in my peripheral vision. 

21 years old, it looked a lot like the bike I lost when I was a teenager. It was bumped and scratched and needed a tune up but was in otherwise pretty good shape for its age and what it had been through (the bike, damnit, not me...) and was available for $80 just over the river in the county where I grew up. A few Facebook exchanges, a bit of Google research, a test drive in the parking lot of a Dollar Tree, and the Boulder was in the trunk of my car ready to come back home. 

After a short stay at the County Cycle in Yonkers it is mechanically stable and ready to go. I'm still looking for ways to get the rust off and polish it up a bit, but I ordered a phone mount to take the place of the old bike computer and am considering cargo rack options. 

I'm not crying. You're crying. 

Missing The Mark By A Mile

Target is getting a metric shit-ton of free publicity for their new "inclusive" and "gender neutral" Toca Boca line (Romper,  Lifehacker,  InStyle,  ScaryMommy,  Digiday, YAHOO Finance, and PYMNTS-- just to list a few) and they haven't earned a millishit-ton of it. At best, they completely bungled this release. At worst, they're taking advantage of a zeitgeist moment to make themselves look good while ruffling as few feathers as possible. 

What's Toca Boca? I really don't know. Ask my obsessed 7 year old and he'll fill you in. He discovered it years ago while cruising for apps on Mommy's i-Pad and was immediately enthralled. As best I can tell, it's a series of kid-friendly apps that depicts children from all walks of life that lets children control the world that animated children live in. Kids can do all the things they can't do in real life-- cut people's hair, roam around a city, feed people poop, buy pets, and skip school. Or maybe that's just what my child does. Either way, we love it because she loves it and it isn't skewed towards girls or boys but towards children. 

You see, dressing our child is hard. He describes herself as "non-binary" but leans a bit towards "girl" most of the time. We have always shopped both sides of the clothing store and he is both articulate about and annoyed by how unfair it is that boys clothing is often edgy and funny and girls clothing is sweet and pretty. We supported Princess Awesome as a Kickstarter so we could get dinosaur dresses and ordered from Primary where all of the clothing is listed together under "Kids." We take hand-me-downs from boys and girls alike and give everything an equal chance. He's been a flower girl with a masculine haircut and a ring bearer with long blond hair. 



So when I started seeing reports a few days ago that Target would be offering an exclusive Toca Boca clothing line that would sit BETWEEN the boys' section and the girls' section I did my research. According to a July 10th press release from the Sweden based company,“Everything we make at Toca Boca is designed for all kids; it’s our mission to make sure no kid ever feels excluded by Toca Boca,” said Mathilda Engman, Head of Consumer Products, Toca Boca. “True to those values the collection was designed with inclusivity in mind, and we are so excited to see it will be merchandised together as a collection sitting between the boys and girls aisle of many Target stores.” The release date was Monday July 17th-- a date when we had plans to be just miles away from Target anyway. Being the stellar parents that we are, we used it as a bribe to get our kid into the car for a dreaded eye-doctor appointment. "Get in the car and you can go on a Toca Boca shopping spree." Eye drops were never so easy. 

Pupils still dilated, Kiddo found his way to the clothing section of our local-ish Target with ease and we began to hunt for Toca Boca. The sinking feeling hit immediately. Hanging in the Girls' section we found a shirt, a pair of pajamas, and a dress.

 

A few aisles over, in the boy section, we found two more shirts and a pair of pajamas.

 

Hoping there was more and these were just misplaced, we asked a saleswoman on the floor if there was more and she informed us that it was just what was out. We asked why they were separated into Boys and Girls clothing and she looked at us like we were crazy. I started to explain that we had read about the clothing being gender neutral and she actually laughed. Our child was crushed. The saleswoman explained that they had decided to sort the clothes into "Boys" and "Girls" based on color and style. It goes without saying that this completely defeats the purpose- and is completely contrary to all of the wonderful publicity they have received. 

We left without buying any of the clothes we'd come for because our child no longer wanted them once they were sorted by gender; the appeal of buying "Non Binary" clothing was gone. Once again the message was clear-- the world is not for people like you. 

Sure enough, when I got home and started looking around on Target.com, the clothing there was also sorted into "Boy" and "Girl" based on style and color. Boys' clothing was predominantly blue and green with skeletons and sloths and monstery-type creatures. Girls clothing had cute ears, female characters, and dresses. 

Word of this was starting to leak out on Twitter late yesterday, with Toca Boca replying to disappointed posts that they were not the ones who added the gendered tags/UPC codes to the clothing...

... and Target CONFIRMING... I'm sorry, clarifying, that the clothing is in fact gendered and not gender neutral. 

What's your next move, Target? The ball's in your court now. 

Social conservatives will be angry with you for having even been within spitting distance of a gender neutral clothing line (The #BoycottTarget has been revived, according to this Queerty article.) And for taking down the Boys/Girls signs over the toys. And letting people pee where they want to pee... while social progressives will be angry for the bait and switch and for using inclusive marketing techniques as a backhanded and manipulative ploy. People are gonna be pissed ether way, so what's your metric? 

Where's Pa Going With That Ax?

Apparently, religions have rules for how people are supposed to behave when the church's religious leader leaves. These are interesting to research.

Episcopalians be like: "There is no need to end friendships..."

Catholics be like: "Continuing friendships will be important, but it must be made clear that the pastoral relationship has come to an end."

Presbyterians be like, "While friendships with the departing pastor will surely continue, the pastoral relationship must not."

Quakers be like: "We're all friends."

(Many) Jews be like, "We're all family! Of course I'm here for you!"

Evangelicals be like: "People from your former church may still contact you, but the type of communication you have must change."

United Church of Christ be like: "Friendships don't end, but pastoral relationships do."

Unitarian Universalists be like, "YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!"

10

10 years

In The Balance

Logic tells me it is a spider web. The rest of my brain tells me that it is an entire galaxy trapped in the middle of ours. 

In The Balance

Logic tells me it is a spider web. The rest of my brain tells me that it is an entire galaxy trapped in the middle of ours. 

Spring Snow