So I'd go backwards and start the story last night around 10:30 when I got a text message from my sister in Nashville and decided to get up and call/text with her rather than sleeping--- which meant I didn't fall asleep until after midnight.
But that doesn't quite do it either, because the fact that I heard her 10:30 text is a bit of an anomaly, 'cause my phone was accidentally set on vibrate and, normally, I'm asleep WAY before 10:30 and I wouldn't have heard my phone.
So I take a step back and explain that I was up so late because of the FedEx man. Julie and I purchased a Groupon for $150 worth of wine for only $53 bucks- a fantastic and delicious deal. We'd been tracking our wine all day (nope... no problems here!) and knew that it was supposed to be delivered that day. In the past (because we often have wine delivered...) they have just left it on the doorstep, despite the fact that they are supposed to have a signature, but we still were anxious that they'd take our wine back and not deliver it. When we got home from the gym around 7 and there was still no wine, we decided not to worry about it and wait for the morning. Which is why we were a bit surprised when the FedEx guy showed up with 3 giant boxes (2 Pampered Chef and one wine) just a few minutes before 10. He didn't ring the doorbell, but I had heard/seen his truck and headed down the stairs. He left the first box and went back to the truck and, while he was away, I grabbed the box and brought it inside. Didn't turn on the porch light or anything. That's when I realized that he was coming back with a second box and was probably going to notice that the first giant box had disappeared. So I did what any self respecting adult would do and waited for him to leave the second box, slightly confused, and grabbed it the minute his back was turned. Which was, of course, when we realized that he was coming back to the door a 3rd time. The final trip brought our wine and we turned on the light and signed for it (dude thought we were nuts). And then went to bed.
But that doesn't quite do it either, because I would not normally have seen the Fed Ex truck pull up at 10 o'clock at night, had I not been in M's room trying to get her to wake up enough to drink a glass of water. I would have been asleep.
So I take a step back and explain that M fell asleep in the car on the way home from the gym today, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When we go to evening classes, we usually leave her and her dinner with her grandparents just around the corner from the gym. Normally they give her her dinner, play with her a bit and let her watch TV while we are tortured for an hour. Yesterday, however, was the first day that the pool in their development was open, so her Papa took her swimming instead of feeding her. Which is why she was eating her dinner in the car on the way home at 7 PM when she fell asleep. With part of the sandwich still in her mouth. Which is why I was in her bedroom at 10 trying to get her to drink water because, while I'm pretty sure she had swallowed it by then, I was having mini panic attacks about her choking. Which is why I heard the FedEx guy. Which is why I was still awake when C texted me. Which is why I was able to talk with her for a few hours last night. Which is why I got less than 5 hours of sleep. Which is why I was exceptionally tired this morning. Which is why I needed my coffee. Badly. Which is why I was showing such poor decision making skills in licking up (what I believed to be) every last drop of coffee that I could. Which is why I now know that cat blood and human blood are indistinguishable on the palate.
So in the end, it looks like I can blame my in-laws for this one.
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