The Slinky Man

Night time in my own home generally feels like the least safe time and place on the planet for me. I can't quite pin down why... put me out in the middle of the woods in a flimsy tent with the bears, wolves, coyotes, foxes, spiders, raccoons and other creepy crawlies and I'm fine. Hotels, other people's houses, the back seat of a sedan in the WalMart parking lot-- these are all fine. But my own bed? In my own house? It's like playing Russian roulette.

Primarily because of the Slinky Man.



Who is the Slinky Man? The Slinky Man is the scary, homicidal maniac that might be hiding in my closet or bathtub or crawlspace or under the couch on any given night. He's patient and methodical. He gets his jollys by waiting for his victims to come to him. He sneaks into your house at some point during the day, finds a quiet corner and waits for you to go to bed. Just as you're starting to fall asleep he takes out his Slinky and starts playing with it, letting the metal rings slink back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. You hear it and sit up slightly, wondering what that sound is. It's familiar... you can't quite put your finger on it. A running toilet? Something wrong with the air conditioner? You get out of bed to go investigate and, eventually, you find him. He's dressed in a long gray trench coat and an old fashioned grey rain hat. He's unshaved with a scraggly beard and surprisingly tall. His eyes kinda glow. He allows just enough time for the fear to register fully, for you to try and scream or run before he pulls out a knife, slices you up, and leaves. He might kill you, or he might not. In the morning, if you survived, when they find you, it's just gonna sound like a hallucination. No one's going to believe that the Slinky Man did it.

The Slinky Man, and others like him, keep me up. I can imagine all of the other characters who might have snuck into and hid in my house during the day and are just waiting for me to fall asleep. Several times a week I reevaluate my options for grabbing the sleeping toddler and barricading us all in the bedroom if I hear them coming. Could we move the dresser in front of the door fast enough? Am I positive that the door swings inwards? Would hiding in the bathroom be safer than the hallway, or could a crazy person just burst through the adjoining bathroom wall? How much would it cost to plate one room in Titanium?

I'm pretty sure this has to be some form of PTSD... or the beginnings of a new RL Stein series. Not sure if I need a therapist or an an agent.